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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.