Daily Silly Status

To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."

I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......

I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!

The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.

For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka

I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.

Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.

My mind has a mind of its own.

99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%

"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.

You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.

I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet

Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.

One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.