Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Stop saying I`m hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome