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I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.