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Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
This stupid lady is taking forever using her damn coupons for her groceries. All these rolls of pennies are heavy! Hurry up!
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.