Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?