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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
I am absolutely a man of my word. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the word is "Unreliable".
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.