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I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
I drink because people talk.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.