Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
I drink to make other people interesting.
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
Line forms here for spankings
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out