Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a great relationship with Alcohol..
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?