Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.