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I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
My IQ? ... With google or without?
The less you know, the more you think you do.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.