Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
My best friend sent me a message saying,"Your stupid," I replied,"atleast I know the difference between you`re and your,"
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.