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You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."