Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.