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I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.