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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
Honk if you are reading this.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane Iām making has lace on it.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"