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A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!