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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.