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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.