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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
Told my kids next time I take their electronics away I`d also be responding to all texts they receive. They`ve been well behaved since.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Cooking tip of the day: Rub your eyes BEFORE you dice the jalapenos...
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers