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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming for their lives like the passengers in the back of his truck
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.