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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
I`m going to hell in every religion!
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you`ve never been married and you love spending time with him?
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Wife: Hi honey, did you miss me? Husband: With every bullet so far...
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.