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I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.