Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I`m high as a kite! Let me rephrase that: I`m stuck in a tree.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.