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can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
In terms of procrastination, I had a very productive day.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
The wife has been missing a week now, police said to prepare for the worst, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.