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Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
My online dating profile is just a picture of my ex-wife and the words "NOT THIS."
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.