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According to my nipples, summer is over
I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...