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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
How about this for lazy: I`m letting the NSA take all my selfies for me.