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Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
A woman at my gym has a jellyfish tattoo on her arm ... So I peed on her
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Can I get likes for no reason?