Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
I thought the voices in my head actually liked me until I found out they learned sign language just so they could talk sh*t about me.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
is "insert clever remark here."
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...