Daily Silly Status

Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.

I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….

In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.

I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too

Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.

Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.

I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??

Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.

Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.

For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...

I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...

If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.