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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.