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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
I like how Sesame Street just casually has a vampire hanging around.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."