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Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
What can I do today that is only going to happen once in a blue moon?
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
When I`m on my death bed, I want my last words to be...."I left 10 million dollars in the..........."
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
Youth is wasted on the young.