Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.