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I just called. To say. I texted you.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people