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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Girl says to her Blonde friend, I slept with a Brazilian man last night. The Blonde replies: OMG you SLUT! How many is a Brazilian??
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
The best time to re evaluate your life is when you find your self awake at 3 am reluctantly nodding yes to the questions being asked at the beginning of an infomercial
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.