Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Did you ever notice that the doctorβs bill is always a lot more readable than the doctorβs prescription?
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".