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The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
When I die, I’d like someone to keep updating my Facebook status, just to freak people out… “Hey, who knew they had Wi-Fi up here?”
i dont have drain bramage.