Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
20 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.