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Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.