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My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.