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I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
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Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something