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I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Today`s subliminal thought is: …