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If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.