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What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?