Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.