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I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Why do ballerinas always stand in their toes? Why don`t they get taller dancers?
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver