Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
When it`s raining I don`t work, when its sunny I don`t work, when its cloudy I call in sick!
I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
Real friends show me their boobs
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.