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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
I`m really easy to get along with, once people learn to worship me.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.