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Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
Sometimes I speak in a different font but no one ever notices.
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?