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The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
Iām not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".