Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
Why do people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything? How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m a jerk.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
If anyone every texts me “who is this” I always respond “Jake from state farm”
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive