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Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
Trust me, I am a liar.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.