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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I`m affordable" instead of "I`m adorable".
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
drink beer ?? save water
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
How`d this get posted?