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People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
Wife: You always blame other people for your problems. Me: Yeah, and whose fault is that?
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why i fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again..
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.