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There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
TEIAM - problem solved
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
I need a partner in wine.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
It`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.