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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
"We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Very little scares me. So does very big.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?