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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
Some of my best memories are naps.
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.