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I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.