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If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.