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Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
I hide my vodka in orange juice
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
I saw a cool bumper sticker on a back of a SUV . . . “Do you follow Jesus this close?”
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.